There should be some sort of rule that movies with foregone conclusions aren't allowed to run past the two hour mark. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford drags for over two and a half. When just from your title and setup your audience already knows the who (Robert Ford), the what (kills Jesse James), the when (somewhere towards the end of the movie because that'd be more dramatic), and the how (probably with a gun considering the time period and the fact that these guys were train robbers) - all you have left is the why, and even that is partially answered (because he's a coward). The challenge is to fill in the details and the rest of that "why" in a gripping manner for the rest of the film. And that's where this film fails. It's no small undertaking but anyone would be hard pressed to sustain tension with this story for two and a half hours.
It's too bad because it is such a striking film visually. Grain shines in the sunlight and sways in the wind. The sky is full of appropriately threatening and tumultuous-looking clouds. The train lights fall on Brad Pitt's Jesse James creating a perfect silhouette before a moment of action. The men disappear through the steam like ghosts. The cast is an array of familiar and vaguely-familiar faces (Brad Pitt, Mary Louise Parker, Casey Affleck, Sam Rockwell, Zooey Deschanel, Jeremy Renner, Paul Schneider). They all do a fine enough job but everything is too subdued for anyone to shine through like the aforementioned grain.
Rating: 2/5
Recommended for: lulling yourself to sleep
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