Underworld (2003)

Underworld was writer/director Len Wiseman's first time writing and directing. Before this his work was in films' art departments. And it shows.

While the film's color tones are dark and a perpetual thunderstorm's lightening provides half the lighting, the film remains visually interesting throughout. Unfortunately the same can't be said of the plot. CGI blends in with the feel of the film and its non-human elements, but talking is minimal and you immediately get the sense that you're interrupting something - a story that's already been going on for awhile.

Sometimes that phenomenon works for a film - here not so much. Apparently there's been a war going on for millennia between vampires and werewolves. Conveniently no one is allowed to look into the past to even know why they're fighting. Then one day in an an unspecified time and place, the werewolves become interested in a human, so the vampires do too. And then they all walk purposefully, run, drive cars, and shoot. Amongst all this, the human in question just takes this all in stride. The lines of who is good and who is not are practically non-existent. All we have is Selene (Kate Beckinsale) who appears to be good, but perhaps only in the context of the world in which she lives.

I have to give these actors credit; they at least appear to know what they're talking about, even when it doesn't make that much sense to the rest of us.

Rating: 1/5
Recommended for: Those who would enjoy putting a film on mute and making up their own story.